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Another true story. I was on an exercise at the NTC in the Mojave desert. I and a female soldier were assigned to drive a jeep 30 miles out into the wilderness to set up a RDF (Radio Direction Finder) kit. After the 2-hour ride, the first thing I had to do upon arrival was to relieve myself. With no cover in the desert, I announced my intention, asked her to turn around, went behind the Jeep, and proposed that if she also had to go, I would be a gentleman and turn my back for her. Well, that wasn't good enough for her. She set out to cross over to the other side of the ridge to be out of my sight completely, about 200 yards away. I proceeded to set up the antenna for the radio by myself. At about the time that she probably got her pants down, I heard the unmistakable sound of helicopters come from her direction. A few moments later, she came storming back, mad as a bucket of hornets, It was Attack Helicopter doctrine at that time for a hunter-killer team of AH-1 Cobras to hover behind a ridgeline out of sight, while the UH-58 Kiowa scout helo would use its periscope to peak over the ridge for targets. So while she had sought privacy from me, she ended up being a spectacle for the 10 guys in the helicopter team! My laughing and I told you so!" didn't do anything to improve our working relationship."

M.A.R.I.N.E.S.= My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment Sir U.S.A.R.M.Y backwards= Yes My Retarded Ass Signed Up.

True story- Also in 1998 SFAS. We had a land nav course in the day. Everyone was given a cem light. When you got to your first point you were to attach the cem light to the stake and light it for our night land nav course later on. It was the first day of land nav so it was really just orienting us. Well, I wasn't paying attention to what the points looked like I just heard him say they were painted with white stripes. Then on top of that, I held my protractor wrong when plotting. The sleep deprivation was getting to me and I plotted all my points wrong. So for 3 hrs I'm not finding anything finally I come across a tree with a large white stripe painted on it and it had a dog tag with a number nailed to it. So I said finally this must be it. I wrote down the number lit the cem light and then found the finish point. When I turned in my paper he said I don't know what this number is go to remedial training. Well, I fixed my mistakes for the night land nav. The next morning we were sitting around and someone said Man I fell in the creek last night going to a point. The bad thing was it wasn't even my point some A-hole put a cem light on a tree.

True story- It was 1998 I went to SFAS in Ft Bragg to try out for Green Beret (didn't make it, but tried twice). There's a 25 obstacle course and any mess up on an obstacle you have to repeat it so it was a smoker. At the end 24th obstacle was called the worm pit. It was a rope you swing into a 2ft deep pit of muddy water and you crawl for about 15 ft before your out. Later that day we were sitting around recovering and someone put up their hand and said Be honest guys how many of you drank some of the water in the worm pit. There was a lot of laughter and some raised their hands and said they did. I then raised my hand and said how many of you pissed in it.

True story- I was a SGT then. We were in the field when another SGT decided to trick my private and told him to go ask SGT MAJ for a box of grid squares for the Land Nav course later. I let him go but was sort of annoyed. My private came back about 30 mins later and told the SGT that SGT MAJ was pissed and wanted to see him right now. He was laughing and left to go find SGT MAJ. I asked my private if he was really mad. He said I never found him. I found the supply SGT and he told me they were F-ing with me. I couldn't stop laughing. Turns out SGT MAJ wasn't around so all good for everyone, and the SGT who got his joke flipped on him laughed about it too.

A LT walked up to a SGT jumping up and down on top of a manhole saying the number 3 after every jump. The LT yelled What are you doing SGT? Nothing Sir just seeing how high I can jump while on this manhole. The LT shook his head and said Well that's not high at all. Get out the way and let me show you how to do it. The SGT moved and the LT jumped real high in the air. As he did the SGT removed the manhole cover and the LT fell down into it. He then replaced the cover and started jumping again saying 4, 4, 4.

After graduating a class of new recruits, all the drills were having a beer, which led to many beers and a D$C competition. A male drill sergeant jump up on a table and said boys watch this, he proceeded to unzip his pants and said Attention"

The meaning of MARINES: Marines Are Respected Individuals Needed Everywhere Serving OooooRah!

No Joke: Only one word can be spelled from USMC & that's what we rid this world of: scum.

The c.i.a. Was looking for the best candidate to fill a spot on a field team. So he recruited 4 of the best he could find. An Army ranger, Air Force P.J., Navy seal, and a Recon Marine. He told them “you must find your own way to this beach head for 0600 tomorrow morning, there you will be tested like never before”. The Ranger patrols up, the spook hands him a 9mm and says “see that cabin over there, you wife is in there take the gun and shoot her”. The ranger hands the gun back and says “I love her too much I can’t do that”. The P.J. parachutes in, and is presented with the same task. He walks in the cabin and walks directly back out. “I can’t do it she has been there for me through everything, I love her”. Next the seal swims up to the beach head. And again presented with the same task. The seal goes in the cabin for about 20 minutes. When he comes out he says “I tried talking myself into it but I just couldn’t do it, because I love her too much”. The Recon Marine jumps out of a plane, parachutes into the ocean, disconnecting the chute before hitting the water and fins to the beach. Again he is presented with the same task, without even thinking about it the Marine grabs the gun, runs to the cabin and all you can hear is 6 to 8 shots ring out. Then a pause and a whole bunch of screaming and shrieking. The Recon Marine walks out of the cabin covered in blood. He hands the weapon back to the spook and says “some asshole put blanks in that gun, so I had to use my K-bar”!!!!

NATO Commander in the desert. asked a group of troops. if you found a scorpion in your tent. What would you do?" ARMY said "I would throw a boot at it." Marine said" I would pick it up by the tail/stinger & eat it. Air Force said "I would call Room service & ask why is there a tent in my Room?""

USMC: Uncle Sam's Misguided Children