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True story... an old high school friend who was in the Navy posts a picture of a battle ship on my Facebook wall and asks me, If Marines are so great

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Sailor at port goes into a bar and asks the bartender where he can get screwed. The bartender tells him to go down the hall and knock on the door. The sailor does as instructed and a burly voice asks what do you want?" The sailor replies

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ARMY = Aren't Ready for Marines Yet, but don't worry, we'll get you trained.

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where are the HEADLIGHTS on a destroyer---------in the HEAD.

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Me and my friend you like a joke

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Marine and sailor sitting at a bar. The marine asks why didn't you join the marines"? The sailor replied that he tried to

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My 1st week in Lackland AFB , Texas. A new recruit started singing the marine hymn Our Drill Instructor was coming out of our barracks and heard him. The drill instructor had him go into the barracks and sing the whole song. Then was put KP

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Another true story. I was on an exercise at the NTC in the Mojave desert. I and a female soldier were assigned to drive a jeep 30 miles out into the wilderness to set up a RDF (Radio Direction Finder) kit. After the 2-hour ride, the first thing I had to do upon arrival was to relieve myself. With no cover in the desert, I announced my intention, asked her to turn around, went behind the Jeep, and proposed that if she also had to go, I would be a gentleman and turn my back for her. Well, that wasn't good enough for her. She set out to cross over to the other side of the ridge to be out of my sight completely, about 200 yards away. I proceeded to set up the antenna for the radio by myself. At about the time that she probably got her pants down, I heard the unmistakable sound of helicopters come from her direction. A few moments later, she came storming back, mad as a bucket of hornets, It was Attack Helicopter doctrine at that time for a hunter-killer team of AH-1 Cobras to hover behind a ridgeline out of sight, while the UH-58 Kiowa scout helo would use its periscope to peak over the ridge for targets. So while she had sought privacy from me, she ended up being a spectacle for the 10 guys in the helicopter team! My laughing and I told you so!" didn't do anything to improve our working relationship."

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This is a true story. My 1st MOS was 33S, and in the reserves I was dead-ended at Spec 5, and therefore not eligible for retirement, so I changed to MOS 31V. I traded in my Spec5 patch for SGT stripes, and became a Communications Supervisor. As a 33, I had plenty of experience with radios, not so much with running field wire for telephones. So in my first time in a field exercise, I said to my trusty Spec4 31K Wireman You mind the radios

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M.A.R.I.N.E.S.= My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment Sir U.S.A.R.M.Y backwards= Yes My Retarded Ass Signed Up.

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True story- Also in 1998 SFAS. We had a land nav course in the day. Everyone was given a cem light. When you got to your first point you were to attach the cem light to the stake and light it for our night land nav course later on. It was the first day of land nav so it was really just orienting us. Well, I wasn't paying attention to what the points looked like I just heard him say they were painted with white stripes. Then on top of that, I held my protractor wrong when plotting. The sleep deprivation was getting to me and I plotted all my points wrong. So for 3 hrs I'm not finding anything finally I come across a tree with a large white stripe painted on it and it had a dog tag with a number nailed to it. So I said finally this must be it. I wrote down the number lit the cem light and then found the finish point. When I turned in my paper he said I don't know what this number is go to remedial training. Well, I fixed my mistakes for the night land nav. The next morning we were sitting around and someone said Man I fell in the creek last night going to a point. The bad thing was it wasn't even my point some A-hole put a cem light on a tree.

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True story- It was 1998 I went to SFAS in Ft Bragg to try out for Green Beret (didn't make it, but tried twice). There's a 25 obstacle course and any mess up on an obstacle you have to repeat it so it was a smoker. At the end 24th obstacle was called the worm pit. It was a rope you swing into a 2ft deep pit of muddy water and you crawl for about 15 ft before your out. Later that day we were sitting around recovering and someone put up their hand and said Be honest guys how many of you drank some of the water in the worm pit. There was a lot of laughter and some raised their hands and said they did. I then raised my hand and said how many of you pissed in it.

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