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Yup, The U.S.M.C. is part of the Department of the Navy. THE MENS DEPARTMENT.
J. LaBarge Bryan
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There was a Soldier, and a Sailor at the same bar drinking. The soldier goes into the restroom and takes a leak. Right before he walks out the sailor walks in. The sailor noticed the soldier didnt wash his hands. The sailor then asked the soldier... What, did they not teach you to wash your hands in the Army? The soldier replied. No they taught me not to piss on my hands.
LC
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Why does the Navy have Marines on their boats? Because the sheep are too obvious
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The Navy is useful, they provide the ride, the chow, and the entertainment. The Marines are better, they provide FREEDOM!
harris
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a bunch of army rangers were white water rafting, screaming RANGER! RANGER! RANGER!. God and Jesus were sitting on a tree stump watching them. Jesus looks at God and says dad, what would happen if you took out a quater of their brain. God says lets see, so God takes out a quater of their brain. the army rangers started screaming RANGER! RANGER! RANGER! even louder. Jesus asked God hey dad take out half of their brain and see what happens. So God takes out half of their brain. The rangers start yelling RANGER! RANGER! RANGER! louder and louder. by now Jesus is fustrated and he asks God hey dad take out all of their brain and see what happens. So God takes out all of their brain and instead of yelling RANGER RANGER RANGER. they started singing, from the halls of montezuma to the shores of tripoli
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There was this wife of a marine that was working at wal/mart the nite shift, it was cold and snow was on the ground, and it was getting deeper every min. She remembered that her husband had told her that if a snow plow was going by to get behind it, and she would beable to get home safe, so that is what happened that night. She got behind this truck, and did as she was told. one hr. went by then two, and then the truck stoped the man got out came back to her car and ask her why she was following him, she told him what her husband had told her to do, and he said it was all right he was going over to the JC pennys parking lot now, and would she like to come over there too.
airpower
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Did you know that all blond and Marine jokes were interchangeable?
Ray Cording
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A Sailor and a Marine was in a bar drinking beer and arguing which was the better service. Well into the argument the Marine said ?We have Iwo Jima!? The Sailor then stated ?we have the Battle of Midway!? The marine then said, ?Not exactly, there were a lot of Marines fought and lost their lives in that battle.? The Sailor conceded to the Marine that the Navy could not have won the battle without the help of the Marines and out of desperation blurted out ?The Navy invented sex!? The Marine answered with ?Maybe you did, but it was the Marines who introduced it to women!?
ron- retired arng/ e6
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what is the differance in a boyscout and the national guards ? the boyscouts have adult supervision.
AIRBORNE ALL THE WAY
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Why did the NAVY go back to the 13 button jumper? So the Marines would have a tray hatch
test
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A Marine, Soldier and Sailor were watching new Airmen recruits marching in formation. The all came to the conclusion that that was the most sex those boys would ever get. They were walking abreast.
Sgt Blanchard
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Some of my dearest friends are former Marines and I enjoy telling them this one.... What does MARINE stand for? My Ass Really Is Navy Equipment! Seriously - God Bless all of you...Including Our Marines :)
Davina
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The Marine's advertise that they are looking for a few good "MEN", but sorry to say the Navy already has them.
woody
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The three most dangerous things in the Army. 1. 2nd Lt. That says, "It's been my experirnce....." 2. A Pvt. That says, "I understand...." 3. An Old MSGT That says, "Watch this shit........."
John McRae
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I was a police officer and my partner and I arrested an teenager for underage drinking. He fought us and was entirely unruly, so we took him to the local Magistrate. At his office we told him how much trouble the boy had been but the Magistrate decided to release him to his parents instead of taking him to jail. While dialing his parents, the teen looked at the wall, saw his Honorable discharge from the Navy and asked the Magistrate if it was true all Navy people were gay. We got to take the boy to jail after all.
Edwin A. Halderman, SSgt. USMC (med
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One summer afternoon a particularly pious Priest was taking a stroll. He came upon a young man about 12 years old. The boy was standing on the corner and he had a small bottle in his hand which he kept tossing up and catching it. The priest said hello and asked the boy: "What do you have there?" The boy responded: "Well Father, I got the most powerful stuff in the world" "How's that?" asked the priest. "Well Father this is Nitro Glycerin." The priest became alarmed and was trying to think of a way to retrieve this dangerous chemical. Finally, he says to the boy - "That's not the most powerful stuff in the world." He reached into his coat pocket and drew out a bottle of Holy Water. Then he said, "This is the most powerful stuff in the world. Why just yesterday, I rubbed some on a woman's tummy and she passed a baby." The boy looked at him and grinned, "Oh yeah? well this morning I rubbed a little bit of this on a cat's ass and he passed a motorcycle."
Victor Ortiz
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There were these two Gays waiting for the boat to take them across the river to Staten Island from the lower Manhattan. As the boat was approching, one asked the other,say what the hell is that? The other answered, that`s a Ferry Boat. The one that asked the question reply, WAO, I knew we were liberated but I didn` know we had our own Navy
fossillsd37
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two marines were walking down the street,when one of them spied a dog licking himself.one said to the other-i wish i could do that-no you dont,he might bite!
Grunt
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Does any one know what ARMY stands for?Aren't Really MARINES Yet!!!!So SORRY Army.
anonymous
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How do you spell out the word Marine? Muscles are required intelligence not essential
Al Boisselle
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A soldier is walking down the beach and soon came upon a bottle with a cap on it. The Soldier picks up the bottle, removes the cap, and a genie wafts out of the bottle. The genie tells the soldier, "you let me out of the bottle, so now I'll grant you 3 wishes..." The soldier can't believe what he's hearing, but tells the genie "I think I'd like a top notch Lager..." instantly another bottle appears on the beach, so the soldier picks it up and takes a sip, it's one of the best beers he's ever tasted. When he finishes it, the bottle instantly refills and the soldier drinks it again. Again the bottle fills up. The soldier asks, what is this? The Genie say's " It's a never ending bottle. You can drink from it all your life and it will never go empty." The Genie say's "What would you like next." The Soldier say's " Golly...I'll take two more of these!"
john baker
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At MCAS El Toro, Ca. a Staff Sergeant of an avionics shop had to maintain a strict tool control. So one day a pair of diagonal cutter pliers were missing. Diagonal cutters are referred to as a pair dikes as a nick name. The Staff Sergeant said to his troops that no one is going home until the pair of dikes are found. After additional 8 hours of a massive search no one could find the dikes. As the third shift marines arrived for duty two of them were women marines and just as the women marines entered the shop a corporal after seeing the diagonal cutters setting in a trash can stood up and in a loud military manor voice said, "?All right Staff Sergeant I have found the pair of dikes, can we go home now??"
Dave Reason US Army Ret.
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An ensign was standing in line behind a sailor at a vending machine. The ensign asked the sailor if he had change for a dollar. Reaching into his pocket, the sailor replied, "Sure." The ensign said, "Sailor, don't you mean yes, sir? Let's try this again. Do you have change for a dollar?" The sailor replied, "No, sir!"
Retired Army
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A newly commissioned officer with a cigarette dangling from his lips asked aloud,"anybody got a light?:" An NCO said "I got you covered buddy." "Buddy?" said the officer. "Don't you see this bar on my uniform. Let's try this again. DO YOU HAVE A LIGHT?." The NCO snapped to attention and replied. "SIR, No Sir."
Martin
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How many gears does a navy tank have? 5 - 4 reverse & 1 Forward. The forward is incase they get hit from the rear.
morris rogers/Sgt. {retired}
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