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| Where I work there's a retired sailor who, for the last several years, always tries to get one up on me. Everytime he sees me he tries to say something derrogatory about the Marine Corps. I keep my bearing and come back with a series of Navy joke that get him riled. He always responds with "Just remember, the Marine Corps is a department of the Navy." My response is always "Yeah, the Men's department." He always walks away in a huff. you think he'd learn. | |
| Dennis Hoogerwerf | |
    
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| Stories I told at my CPO initiation. "Why did the Indians lose their wars? Because they had a Chief in charge!" Also the definition of gross ignorance - 144 Chiefs. | |
| Myrna F. Arnold | |
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| When he found out I was a veteran, one of my English 101 students thought he would score more points on his narrative paper by relating a military story. He wrote: "I was in a bar, and after a few beers, I went to the head. A sailor was already there. When we finished, I started out, and he said 'In the Navy, they teach us to wash our hands after urinating.' I told him, 'In the Marines, they teach us not to piss in our hands." At the bottom of his paper, I wrote, "In the Army, we expect you to know that much before you get to basic." | |
| Larry Donaldson | |
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| Upon my retirement I went to the Social Security Office to apply. When the girl asked for my social security number I fumbled through my wallet looking for it. Unable to find it I said I would go home to get it. She said that if I did that I would have to reschedule. She then said , "Open your shirt". I said what and she repeated her order. So, I started unbuttoning my shirt, was told to stop, and she then said that she knew I was of age for social security. I asked how she knew that and she said, "Your chest hair is white, not dark or gray, so that's how I know." I thought that her test was pretty neat and when I arrived back home I had to tell my wife about my experiance. Not impressed one bit with my story she replied, " She should have also told you to drop your pants. ( I don't usually wear underwear ) You would have probably received total disabilty." | |
| Larry Donaldson | |
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| Before my retirement my wife and I were discussing our ages, etc.etc. Later that night as I was in bed deeply engrossed in a book she was in the bathroom, looking at herself in the mirror. She said to me, " Hon, I'm old, getting fat, starting to have wrinkles, and my hair is turning gray. I really need a compliment right about now". I always tell my wife how beautiful she is to me but tonight I switched tactics. I rolled over and looked in the bathroom door at her and said, "But hon,think of the women your age whose eyesight isn't as good as yours". Needless to say I didn't need the air-conditioner on for about a week. | |
| Larry Donaldson | |
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